President Donald Trump hopped on Truth Social this week and told every mooching European nation that’s been freeloading off America’s military for the last 80 years that he’s done helping them and getting nothing in return. He told them to go secure their own oil from the Strait of Hormuz after they all refused to provide support to our military operation. British Prime Minister Keir “Wet Noodle” Starmer nearly choked on his afternoon tea.
Magnifique! Somebody finally said what every American taxpayer has been screaming at the television since the Cold War ended.
Here’s what Trump posted, and we’re going to savor every single word: “All of those countries that can’t get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz, like the United Kingdom, which refused to get involved in the decapitation of Iran, I have a suggestion for you: Number 1, buy from the U.S., we have plenty, and Number 2, build up some delayed courage, go to the Strait, and just TAKE IT.”
So here’s the deal. Iran shut down the Strait of Hormuz, which carries about 20% of the world’s oil supply. America gets less than 2% of our oil through that strait. Europe? They’d be heating their flats with burning furniture within a month without it. So naturally, while the U.S. military launched Operation Epic Fury — greatest operation name in history, no contest — and struck over 11,000 targets in Iran across 30 days, our “allies” across the pond did absolutely nothing.
Actually, that’s not fair. They did something. They actively got in our way.
France refused to let American military supply planes fly over its territory. (Merci beaucoup, you ungrateful crepes.) Spain’s Defense Minister called the entire war “profoundly illegal.” And Wet Noodle Starmer told reporters with a straight face, “This is not our war.”
Not your war? You burn most of the oil that flows through that strait to heat your drafty little castles, and you have the nerve to sit there with your arms crossed while American servicemen and women do the fighting? Pop quiz, Keir — whose war is it when the lights go out in London and your citizens are freezing in the dark?
That should make every American’s blood boil. We spent $800 billion on defense last year — more than every other NATO member combined — and these ingrates won’t even let our planes use their airspace. Meanwhile they’ve got the nerve to lecture us about “international cooperation” while they hide behind our aircraft carriers like a little kid behind his dad’s leg at a biker bar.
Pentagon chief Pete Hegseth delivered the kill shot during a briefing on Tuesday. “Last time I checked there was supposed to be a big bad Royal Navy that could be prepared to do things like that as well,” Hegseth said. He added that “you can’t just have flags, you have to have formations.”
Ouch! The Royal Navy hasn’t taken a beating like that since the Falklands.
And the timing was absolutely gorgeous. Literal minutes before Buckingham Palace announced that King Charles and Queen Camilla would be visiting Washington for a state dinner at the end of April, Trump was dragging the entire United Kingdom on social media for the whole world to see. The Brits desperately want that meeting, which means Trump holds every card at the table. He could cancel the whole thing with one post and Charles would be sobbing into his organic scone collection.
THAT is how you negotiate. Take notes, every Republican who’s ever caved to these people.
Trump had already embarrassed the Brits earlier this month when Starmer floated the idea of sending British aircraft carriers to the Gulf. Trump told him not to bother, comparing UK carriers to “toys.” You want to know the sad part? Britain’s own First Sea Lord, General Sir Gwyn Jenkins, basically admitted Trump was right. His exact words: “If we were told to go to war, of course we would. But are we as ready as we should be? I don’t think we are.”
So the head of the Royal Navy publicly confesses his fleet is a glorified bathtub armada, and then the Brits throw a fit when the American president points it out. You can almost hear Wet Noodle Starmer rehearsing in the mirror every morning: “We used to have an empire. We used to matter. Today I’ll just strongly condemn something on Twitter.”
Germany’s response was even more pathetic — and that’s saying something for a country whose military couldn’t fight its way out of an Oktoberfest tent. Defense Minister Boris Pistorius sniffed, “What does Trump expect a handful of European frigates to do in the Strait of Hormuz that the powerful US Navy cannot do?” That’s rich coming from the country that spent a decade letting its tanks rust in warehouses while hiding behind American protection. These clowns JUST started hitting the 2% GDP defense spending they promised YEARS ago — and they want a cookie for it? We’re at 3.4% and climbing. You’re welcome, Germany.
And this is exactly what Democrats have enabled for decades. Every spineless president from Clinton through Obama through Biden wrote blank checks to these countries and told American voters to shut up and be grateful for our “alliances.” Barack Obama let European nations skate on their NATO obligations for eight straight years while lecturing US about paying our “fair share” in taxes. Joe Biden practically begged Europe to like him. Democrats turned America into the world’s ATM and then called you unpatriotic for asking where the money went.
The European Council on Foreign Relations — yes, that’s a real organization staffed by very serious people with very serious glasses — admitted that Europe’s entire Iran strategy boiled down to “a desire to keep ‘daddy’ Trump happy.” Their word, not ours. Daddy. That’s how Europe’s own foreign policy “experts” describe the relationship. We’re the parent who pays for everything and they’re the 45-year-old kid still living in the basement.
Meanwhile, gas prices at home hit $4.02 a gallon because of this mess. Four bucks! I haven’t been this mad at a gas pump since Obama was in office. Karoline Leavitt swears prices are coming back down once we finish turning Iran’s military into scrap metal. From her lips to God’s ears — because right now I’m paying through the nose and I’m not in a forgiving mood.
Trump closed his Truth Social tirade with five words that should be chiseled into the marble above the entrance to NATO headquarters in Brussels: “Go get your own oil.”
After 80 years of American taxpayers funding Europe’s defense so they could blow their budgets on things like Sweden’s $2.5 million “gender-equal snow plowing” program — which is a real thing, look it up — we finally have a president who looked the freeloaders dead in the eye and told them the free ride is over. Watching Wet Noodle Starmer sputter about it on the BBC might just be worth the four bucks a gallon.
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